I'd Rather Have Root Canal

Water for Elephants (DVD - 2011)

Annotation:I have to admit I did enjoy the first Twilight movie. (Please forgive me.) However, after watching this disaster I've come to realize that Robert Pattinson is the world's worst actor. He is incapable of registering any emotion on his face. I've never seen a more wooden performance. Ever.

Crazy, Stupid, Love (DVD - 2011)

Annotation:This should be called Crazy, Stupid, Movie. At best it comes off like your average TV sitcom which is to say, it's terrible! The only thing to be gleaned from it is that Ryan Gosling has great abs, big whoop.

Crazy Heart (DVD - 2010)

Annotation:SPOILER ALERT. The fact that Jeff Bridges won the Oscar for this film only proves that the awards are a big pile of horse caca. This should have been a Hallmark made for TV movie. One sappy cliche after another. Also, I know that we're supposed to suspend belief but I could not buy that a young, sexy woman (played by Maggie G.) would ever want to be with an aged, bloated, alcholic. The sex scenes were uncomfortable and creepy.

Source Code (DVD - 2011)

Annotation:I love a good thriller and I think Jake G. is a fine actor but this was a big snoozefest. It has a "Groundhog Day" type structure that didn't hold my interest. They needed Ned Ryerson. Please see my "Thrill Me" list for some better recommendations in the genre.

Cinderella Man (DVD - 2005)

Annotation:Richie Cunningham is a hack as a director. His movies are so treacly that I need a stiff drink to recover. Treacly and formulaic.

Duplicity (DVD - 2009)

Annotation:Clive Owen sure is manly but even he can't save this film. If you like Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome I recommend Second Sight, Gosford Park, Closer or The Children of Men. Did I mention he's handsome?

Music and Lyrics (DVD - 2007)

Annotation:Once upon a time Hugh Grant was a promising young actor (Sense and Sensibility, Maurice etc.) Sadly, he has morphed into a parody of himself with so many nervous tics and eye blinks that he is downright unwatchable. This film is also awful in every other imaginable way. For good romantic comedies see my "Kiss Me" list.

My Blueberry Nights (DVD - 2008)

Annotation:I watched this because I like Jude Law but wow, what a stinker. A bomb. Ka-plooey. If you like Jude and his receding hairline I recommend the following: Cold Mountain, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Closer and I Heart Huckabees.