Hold on to your Kids

Hold on to your Kids

Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Streaming Audiobook - 2012 | Unabridged.
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Like many other parents, doctors Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate have had to confront their children becoming secretive and unreachable. Focused more and more on their friends, they recoiled or grew hostile around adults. Why? The problem, Neufeld suggest, lies in attachment; children are increasingly forming stronger attachments to their friends than to the adults in their lives. Dr. Neufeld dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, referring to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behavior. Peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. An escalating trend that has never been adequately described Hold On to Your Kids, once understood, it becomes self-evident - as do the solutions, none of which are impossible or even costly to undertake.
Publisher: [United States] : Post Hypnotic Press : Made available through hoopla, 2012.
Edition: Unabridged.
ISBN: 9781926910857
Branch Call Number: Internet Access
Characteristics: 1 online resource (1 streaming audio file (13hr., 42 min.)) :,digital.

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t
traceofbase
Aug 25, 2015

For a more approachable book that strongly relies on these concepts and is more optimistic as well, read
Parenting Without Power StrugglesRaising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Calm, Cool, and Connected by Susan Stiffelman
--contains lots of strong declarative statements but not a lot of evidence. In the idea of letting your child really feel futility to generate growth seems purely based on the authors beliefs. The rationalizations presented are tempting to believe whole heartedly, but I definitely feel the authors thesis is being used like a hammer too address every possibly childhood problem. I listened to the audio version and do not feel like that is a good format for this book, it's quite easy to get lost in the labyrinth of lingo and depressing anecdotes. It isn't till almost the end that they finally begin to offer suggestions and solutions for dealing with unhealthy peer imprinting and your child, so if you are convinced to give their methods a try after the first five chapters, you can skip to chapter 14.

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